Thoughts From Outside The Paddock- Grief.

“So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.” 

E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

Grief. Loss. Mourning. 

These are all words used to describe the death of a loved one. Yet grief is hardly exclusive to people.

Horses grieve in similar ways as us humans. “Some studies suggest that [after the death of a herdmate], horses show signs of anxiety, cessation of feeding and social withdrawal,”(1) 

Additionally, horses miss the physical interaction from the lost herdmate. Horses are very tactile creatures; they groom each other, regularly nuzzling or resting their heads on one another. They will show their people similar acts of affection. 

You may be wondering why I am drawing lines between horse/human grief, it’s because supporting either is quite similar.

“Support your horse and reduce his feelings of loneliness through grooming. Regularly grooming your horse is one of the best ways you can offer your horse comfort.”(2)

For people, this simply means to show up and be present. Horses cannot verbalize that they need help grieving, humans also have great difficulty asking for support and help. This doesn’t mean incessant chatter, or asking what you can do to help. Just do. Clean the house, feed the dogs, do the laundry, be present and available. In the beginning of grief, it’s not words that are the most meaningful show of support, it’s your actions. 

Be present for your horses, be present for your people. 

Here is a simple exercise you can partake in to help you stay in the present moment, for yourself and with your horses:

In your minds eye, I would like you to envision the following..

Early morning on a soft summer day. The clouds are sparsely strewn across the sky, the breeze gently flowing over your skin, with it brings the smell of sun warmed hay and horses.

You can hear the birds singing in the maple and oak trees that surrounds you. Looking straight ahead, you can see a large paddock with 4 beautiful horses. 

You walk over to the fence line, ducking between the boards, you stand casually and whistle out to your little herd.

They notice your presence, they can sense your calm energy, and begin to walk towards you. One begins to blow air in anticipation, another neighs a happy greeting. Once the horses reach you, they circle in close, smelling your cloths and nudging your hand for pat or a scratch. 

This entire interaction was completed in near total quite. The energy is tranquil, your body is completely relaxed, your mind is focused on only this moment. 

Today I want you to focus on being peaceful. I want you to be present in each moment. I want you to carry tranquility in your heart.

Have a blessed day!

(1) https://equusmagazine.com/behavior/how-horses-perceive-death/

(2) https://www.primestables.co.uk/blog/do-horses-grieve-when-they-lose-a-family-member-or-companion/