Thoughts From Beyond The Paddock- Invest In Yourself

One obstacle that exists for parents is finding a way to divide time between the barn, your children, your life partner, and your job(s). In this situation scheduling is vital, if as a parent you can make sure dinner is made, the kids are picked up and dropped off to their numerous activities, homework is accomplished, bedtime enforced, and work completed, it is possible to set aside time to have quality ‘you time’ at the barn. We as parents often place ourselves at the bottom of things to do list. I cannot stress enough how important it is to find time to do the things you enjoy! If you want to perform at your very best, you must give yourself some leisure and joy. But not everyone has a tribe big enough, or trustworthy enough to entrust your children with while you have barn time, so what then?   

Barn shop. Find someplace that is family friendly and welcoming to children, they do exist! The barn that I rode at once upon a time was very welcoming to adults and children, I witnessed children as young as 4 or 5 years old hanging around the horses and riders. There were families there that had a generation or more that were active members, and often they assisted those who did not have the extra hands to watch over the children. “Look for a barn that teaches lessons and has a summer camp for kids, which is more open to young people and can mean having playmates. Although, parents can’t rely on there being other children to keep them distracted, and age-appropriate supervision is always advised.  It’s important to note that many private farms or boarder-only facilities are often intended for adults.”(1)

“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.”

Maya Angelou

The importance of maintaining space and time for you, and you alone, is crucial to a high quality of life. As a parents’ we need to take time to recall who we are as individuals, allotting quality alone time helps focus and maintain the self-image you have in your own mind as to who you are as an individual, not a parent. I was Kate long before I became Mom, and the same goes for all parents reading this. I know that we’ve all hid in the bathroom or laundry room just to sneak a few moments to breathe, be aware parents, that you owe yourself so much more. When you cannot find time for yourself, stress can lead to health problems like heart disease, depression, and diabetes.

Time alone also gives vital moments for reflection; we all know that one of the cornerstones of parenting is to have major decisions to make roughly ALL THE TIME! Investing in quality alone time clears your brain to assess situations methodically and with reduced emotions that may otherwise cloud your perception. I’ve had some amazing ‘ah-ha!’ moments when I’ve taken an hour or so for just myself.

“If you feel “burnout” setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself.”

Dalai Lama

Bottom line: Invest in yourself, and I promise everyone in your life will benefit.

(1)    https://www.horseillustrated.com/equestrian-moms-parenting-from-the-saddle